Parents Role in Practice

So if you have read by previous blogs, you understand that I have a thing about children and music lessons.  I own a music academy and have taught for 20 years.  I employ around 18 teachers and the school services over 300 students.  I know about music lessons and what works and doesn't work for practices.

I have a few (like 100) suggestions that can help ensure good practice habits for children.  So let's start with common questions parents have about their role in practicing.  Let's base our questions and answers on the premise that you want your child to succeed in music learning and develop strong self discipline.

Q  
How often should I get Anne to practice?
A  
Paraphrasing Suzuki, you only have to practice on the days you eat.

Q  
How long should a practice last?
A  
As long as it takes to get through everything the teacher has set out for the week.  (more on this a little later)

Q  
Why do I have to remind Alex to do his practice all the time?  or  Why should I have to remind Alex to practice all the time?  or  It's not my job to remind Alex to practice all the time is it?
A  
You have to remind Alex to practice because he is a child (teen) and is learning self-discipline.  This is not a skill most kids are born with.  It took perseverance on your part to toilet train him, it will take perseverance to learn the habit of practising also.  It IS your job.

Q
How can I help Julianne when I know nothing of music?
A  
First of all, SHE is the one learning music, not you.  The teacher should be able to set up the lesson so as to answer most of Julianne's questions.  You don't need to do any teaching, you need to be present (more on this a little later)

Q  
Why is it always a battle to get Matt to practice?
A  
So many reasons for this one.  I need a whole section for this one, so a quick answer is that no child hates music, no adults hates music, so we have to dig a little to find the problem.  (more a this a little later)

Q
How can I help Megan stay on track?
A
That's one of the best questions.  That's why I saved it for last.  The very best way to keep Megan motivated and on track with her learning is to be interested.  Be present and show pleasure in her accomplishments.  I will expand on this and then go back to answers 2, 4 and 5.

Plenty of parents have tight schedules and all they can do is drop their child off at the door for their lesson.  Hey, if that's what has to happen, well at least you got John to his lesson.  Other parents drop them off then sit in a waiting room reading or socializing.  That's fine too.  But the best case scenario is for the parent to come into the lesson, if at the very least to say hello to the teacher.  This is THE perfection opportunity to sum up any issues or victories that occurred during the week.  Take 20 seconds to say that John had a huge project and it ate into his practice time.  Or that John did extra practice this week and seemed very motivated.  Maybe the teacher knows why and can play off on that in the future.  This is precious time to create a team atmosphere that will help John progress.

If you can stay during the lesson, you show your child that this is a special time that you carve out of your week to see her learning.  You can't do it at school, but you CAN do it in her music lesson.  This in itself can be all she needs to stimulate her love of music and practicing.

And don't forget to praise her on her work, not her talent, or how good she is.  You MUST praise the effort.  There is little value in praising blue eyes for which a child has no control.  So don't praise her ease of learning, or her apparent talent.  Congratulate her work ethics, her determination, her effort.

Only by being present can you be honest in your praise and encouragement and motivate Megan to stay on track.

Now onto length of practice.  When your child first begins lessons, the odds are that 10 to 15 minutes per day will be plenty.  At this point, lessons are jammed with information and little practical stuff.  As the weeks progress and depending on your child, it will take her longer to get through the material handed out by the teacher.  Be wise.  A 3 year old should not be practicing the same amount of time as a 6 year old.  A 3 year old can handle practicing 5 to 10 minutes with a few additional moments for fun and instrument exploration.  A 6 year old can handle 20 minutes within a few weeks and some kids can do 40 minutes a few months later.  This is dependent on material and ease of learning.  If everything is a struggle for your child to master, shorter sessions will go a long way to keep the love of music alive.

A child working on his grade 8 examinations should of course be practicing longer.  I am always surprised by advanced kids who come into the lesson, proud to tell me they practiced 30 minutes everyday!  I expect students at this level to be spending at the very least one hour at their instrument a day.  At the VERY LEAST, on bad days....  For kids who are putting in 2 hours or more a day, it is a good idea to split the time up.  Perhaps some in the morning before school and then again after.

Parents who wonder how they can help their child when they know nothing of music, please read above.  Being present in the lessons will help you better understand teachers' expectations and keep you in the loop.  You get double the value for your buck!  You learn as your child learns.

As for the child who hates to practice?  You need to ask yourself a few questions first.  Did the child ask for lessons.  Did he choose his own instrument or was it imposed on him.  Was the chosen instrument a wise choice.  Is he constantly being criticized for not practicing, not practicing enough, not practicing well....

A child who comes into our studio wanting to take up drums at the age of 6 must be evaluated.  Some kids are actually able to play and count at the age, but they are rare.  Drums can be so much fun at first, but the banging of random rhythms will wear thin quickly.  Same goes for a 7 year old who wants to play guitar.  Again, this is doable, but the odds are the child has a romantic notion that he will be playing like his rock hero in no time.  The reality is that he will be playing one note for a long time and as his hand gets stronger, he may play a chord or two.  It takes time to get to be a rock hero. Meanwhile, strings cut into little fingers and sounds come out weird.

It is wise to start with piano or violin.  These instruments (particularly piano) are easy on little bodies. The piano makes a lovely sound right away!  You also get to learn tons of extra music stuff that other instruments won't teach you right away, like reading in treble and bass clef.

Whatever you do, remember to let your child know that you enjoy hearing him play.  Funny sounds will happen and mistakes too, but try to reserve your comments for the hard work.  And never laugh at the funky noises, unless your child is laughing first:)

We call it playing music because it should, ultimately, be fun.  Hard work has its rewards.

Being present is the best present.